


Of Insomnia and Kitchen Raids

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [70]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5393183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ev can't sleep - especially once she hears there might be fresh scones in the kitchens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Insomnia and Kitchen Raids

Falling asleep was difficult for Evelyn even under ideal circumstances. Trying to go to sleep after the day she just had was laughable. So although she got dressed for bed, Evelyn set to work - first reading the reports that had accumulated on her desk that day and then mentally outlining responses to questions that might be posed at the Exalted Council when it met in three months time. That kept her up to well past three in the morning, and she was still too wound up to lie down. Her stomach had started growling, however, so she wrapped a quilt around herself before heading downstairs.

“Late night - even for you, ma’am,” one of the night’s watchmen commented after snapping to attention as she passed by. “Heading to the kitchen? I heard cook saying she’d just finished some scones when I came on duty.” 

Evelyn’s eyes lit up with that disclosure. Her love of pastries and cakes was legendary. “Really?” she asked greedily, and the soldier nodded. “I’ll sneak one back to you if you want,” she whispered even though there was no one else near to overhear.

“No, ma’am. There aren’t many that cook won’t send to the gallows for getting in her pantry. I’d rather not find out if I make the list,” the soldier quipped.

“Suit yourself,” Evelyn replied while thinking _more for me_ as she almost skipped down to the kitchen. When she got there, however, she heard something scrounging around. _Damn rats. If they got to my scones..._ she thought as she readied a lightning spell and whizzed around the corner. She didn’t find rats rummaging through the cabinets but Cullen instead.

“Great minds...” Evelyn remarked while gazing at the hard lines of his muscular back appreciatively. Cullen had been so caught up in his pantry raiding that he hadn’t heard Evelyn’s approach. 

“Maker’s breath!” he exclaimed as he shot up straight - narrowly missing hitting his head on an opened cupboard door - before whirling around to face Evelyn.

“Scared I was the cook?” Evelyn teased. 

“No, I ... uh...” Cullen’s forehead wrinkled as he lost his train of thought as he saw Evelyn wrapped in a patchwork quilt wearing the yellow plaidweave pajamas she had bought in Sahrnia as a gag birthday gift for herself. “I can’t believe you still have those,” he marveled. 

Evelyn looked down and shrugged. “They’re comfortable and warm.” Then being a relentless tease, she fluttered her eyelashes while adding, “Warm is important when you’re sleeping alone. I’d love to have a reason to throw them out.”

Cullen’s resolve to take things slowly with Evelyn the second time around nearly broke at what she was implying as she twirled a strand of her hair in her fingers while watching him expectantly. Cullen cleared his throat and grabbed the back of his neck while Evelyn giggled at his disquiet.

“Sorry... old habits die hard,” she laughed before sitting down on top of the prep table in the middle of the kitchen and letting her legs dangle. “So did you find anything tasty?”

“Not yet. I think Cook has the good stuff locked up,” Cullen answered while motioning toward a cupboard that had a large lock on it.

“The nerve!” Evelyn nearly shouted. “She’s been threatening it for ages, but I never thought she’d actually do it.”

“So this is a new development?” Cullen queried as Evelyn pushed off the table and strode over to the cupboard with an outraged look on her face.

Peeking through the holes in the tin on the cabinet doors, Evelyn stomped her foot in exasperation. “She imprisoned my scones!” Twisting her lips and scanning the room, Evelyn looked for something that she could use to pry the lock off. Fatigue had her craving something sweet, and she had become nearly obsessed with the idea of a scone after the guard mentioned there might be fresh ones available. Unable to find anything to use to break off the lock, Evelyn decided to try another approach.

“Can you pick locks?” she quizzed Cullen.

“I can’t say that’s part of a templar training regimen,” Cullen retorted.

Evelyn huffed as she stared at the lock. “I knew I should have taken Varric up on his offer to teach me. I thought he was just being lazy and wanted me to do the breaking and entering for him.”

“He probably was,” Cullen chuckled. “Maybe we can find something else to eat ... or make something.”

“I really wanted a scone,” Evelyn pouted as Cullen studied the various ingredients that weren’t under lock and key.

“How about a pancake?” he offered.

“Depends on who’s making it,” Evelyn said with a coquettish lilt.

“Some things never change,” Cullen lamented as he gathered the ingredients. “Sometimes the fact you were born a noble shows - you know,” he said in a slightly accusing tone.

“And here I thought you _liked_ taking care of me,” Evelyn flirted as she laced her arms about Cullen’s waist and then froze before dropping them. “I’m sorry...” she said before fade stepping toward the door.

“Ev, wait!” Cullen called out, and she stopped but didn’t turn around. “This is what I meant earlier. You run off, or put up walls ... and I don’t know why. Please, talk to me.”

Evelyn turned around slowly, and Cullen saw that her eyes were moist before she started speaking in a shaky voice. “It’s easier to act as if nothing happened, but it _did_. You had a baby with another woman. I wanted to be the person who gave you that. That is if I could ever work up the courage to believe that I could be a decent mother.”

She took a deep, rasping breath and continued, “Graham is this wonderful precious little boy, and you’re a great father. And I’m so proud and happy for you, but I’m jealous and angry, too. _We_ were supposed to have time together - just us. _We_ were supposed to get married, but you weren’t careful. The most cautious man I’ve ever met, and you weren’t careful when you were with Norah. And I know we weren’t together then and that I have no right to judge ... but I do anyway. Then I feel guilty because it seems like I’m wishing away your son... which I would never do...”

Evelyn’s body was shaking, and she wrapped her arms around her waist trying to still her nerves as she whispered, “Being with you hurts and being away from you hurts... and I just want to stop hurting. I love you, but when will it stop hurting so much?” 

Cullen was shocked by Evelyn’s honesty. She kept so much tucked behind carefully constructed walls that it was like a damn breaking when she chose to open up. “I’m so sorry, Ev,” he said as he stepped closer to her. “I _never_ wanted to hurt you. I would _never_ hurt you intentionally.”

“But you did ... and I hurt you, too. How do we know that we won’t do it again?” she gasped.

“We don’t,” Cullen answered while putting his hand to her cheek. “If our relationship lasts as long as I hope it will, it’s a near certainty that we’ll hurt each other again. But that’s the thing, Ev, being with you is worth taking that risk. And it’s worth learning from our mistakes and trying to do better.”

Evelyn was too emotional to speak, so she just nodded and then held out her arms to Cullen. He pulled her close to him and after a few minutes whispered, “Thank you,” before letting her go.

“For what?” Evelyn asked as she wiped her face and then blew her nose into a kitchen towel.

“For letting me in."


End file.
